“My Big Chop: Hair”
As women we tend to base our looks on our hair. Long, short or whichever. While having your haircut you mostly want a trim and not the big chop. Today I got my hair chopped and I am going through the four stages of grief. Once the cut and color was done I thought it was nice but it felt like an outer body experience. It was like looking in the mirror and seeing someone else with my face so I had no objections because it did not feel real. On my way home I looked in every window, car and glass to see my reflection and I was not happy by what I saw. I was in full-blown panic mode and just wanted to attack something. I was so angry and was yelling on my phone in the street to try and release my pint up frustration. I literally cannot express in words how angry I was but my face was tomato red. When I made it to my room I rushed pass everyone and sat on the floor in the dark room. I felt an overwhelming sadness descend upon me and just wanted to curl into a ball and cry. I was hysterical and depressed because I was in shock that I would let this happen. It was such a drastic change and a rash decision that I couldn’t even shed tears. My eyes were dry but I was crying and laughing at the same time. Then I felt completely and utterly numb and stayed in the dark. It was my baby cousin first birthday and I had to go. I mustered up the courage with some much needed parental encouragement and decided to freshen up and go celebrate. Looking in the mirror I still didn’t like what I saw but I knew that I couldn’t change it and would have to rock this style like my sanity depended on it. And no my hair isn’t horrid it’s just a drastic departure from what I’m used to. My stylist is amazing and I love the color. It’s just scary stepping into unknown water and I didn’t think I would react this much to it. I had to accept that, hair is hair, and having confidence is a hell of a booster to overcoming that. I looked in the mirror again and said I could pull this off even if I have to play with it a bit to match my liking.
Experience allows for growth. Whether that experience is positive or negative you can always learn from it. I placed so much of myself into my hair that I allowed for it to be my identity instead of me having my own identity as a person. I let my hair wear me as an accessory instead of the other way around. Accepting this change allowed for me to see the bigger picture of growth that I still need to endure. Maybe cutting my hair was the stepping stone that I needed to stop hiding behind curtains and facades and embrace my true inner self. The power my hair had over me was so limiting that it took something like this for me to actually realize some needed adjustments. This applies to any facet in your life. When we place power into something as trivial as hair and not our core being we flounder and not flourish because we are masking our true identities. Let go of the weight by accepting the change but make it work for YOU. Your secret weapon isn’t this thing that can be easily chopped off and that’s the key. I’m ready to take this change head on and stir it in a way that benefits me. Seek change and allow room for growth. Comfortable is comfortable while risk are exciting.